A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum:Do You Know Who Your Friends Are?

With the apparent rise of  teen suicide,severe depression and the report of other emotional disturbance as a result of harm done by so-called friends on the web,there is a need for  heightened involvement by the authorities and those in the  grass roots web community who will join forces and make the internet a safer,more quality medium of communication.

The news about the young man who committed suicide is particularly distressing.  The act of recording his sexual intercourse with another man by webcam to expose and embarass was a cruel and reprehensible act. Distraught about how his privacy was invaded and his life put on display on the social network Facebook, he plunged to a cold and horrible death. That another human being's action could cause another to take their own life sends chills up my spine and should be galvanizing decent,caring and  concerned  people to take constructive action about the current state of internet communication and the glaring violations of privacy our current culture appears to promote. There is a need to protect by passing and enforcing needed laws. In addition, outreach programs have to be initiated on the net to educate the public while also closely monitoring such harmful, if not outright illegal behavior. Suicide as a means of solving the problem seems to be growing at an alarming rate. It has to be unacceptable. There is a need for immediate action to protect  the vulnerable by passing and enforcing needed laws. In addition, outreach programs have to be initiated on the net  and at educational institutions across the globe to closely monitor unethical and unlawful conduct,especially that conducted in secret and under cover with the aim of harming others.


I speak so passionately about the subject because I have been a victim,yes victim of cyberstalking and internet stalking over the past eight months and have suffered tremendous emotional distress from the actions of people I do not know and did not invite knowingly into my "cyberpace." Or, I may have had contact with them,but they are not and have not forthrightly identified themsleves.  While I have not had anyone to knowingly record me in that way that the student in New Jersey has, I have had people to hack into my computer,rifle through my personal and business files and to commandeer all of my email accounts ,sorting through and reading personal and business mail as if my business was their business.I have had death threats made against me and my family through inuendo and insinuation through the use of internet ads and the strategic placment and veering of articles on certain internet pages. I have been forced to read certain articles and headlines over others in a method that makes it clear and confusing at the same time, increasing  fear and distress. 

Then there are those who use the net often,especially teens who conduct most of their business and social life via the web.  They often just don't know and have not been sufficiently trained about internet protocol or the rights of others.This ignorance  has contributed to the alarming rate of internet crimes. But most times it seems they are motivated by an evil desire to cause hurt to others.The other part of the equation is that there are the slick perpretrators who have taken full advantage of what others don't know and combining it with their knowledge of the loopholes, have made internet surfing at times a "wild,wild west". Add to that a lack of rules of engagement for identification and rampant anonymity and those who roam the internet seeking victims,have pretty much free reign to harass,intimidate and bully as they please without being traced.

Several of my friends know about the challenges I have faced over the past several months with internet harassment and cyberbullying.Like so many who have been targeted for this kind of treatment,I have often felt isolated and alone. Some of the questions and responses I have recieved when sharing my ordeal have not only aroused righteous indignation, but also have served to increase initial apprehensions about opening up and revealing my experiences. While I have sought legal help and advice, internet law is a very specialized field. You would be suprised how many "heavy weight" attorneys do not practice internet law, are unaware of internet privacy rights, protocol and generally shy away from claims of harassment  on the net.

The long and short of it is that there is an increasing disregard for the privacy of individuals and this brutish way of  harassing,intimidating and forcing people to do things against their will or to commit suicide either physically or digitally is an alarming indicator of a deteriorating society.

Do you really know who your friends are? That question applies to real time and  virtual friends that are accumulated so quickly and effortlessly on the internet through social networks,message boards and forums. Be mindful of that as you engage and interact with people on the internet. Also pray for your friends,positive and enriching internet  experiences and that god will guide you into the kind of experiences that will help you to flourish in the digital age.

I extend a special prayer to Tyler Clementi's family, his friends and the Rutgers University community at this time.  I also pray that ways will be made to prevent this kind of tragedy from happening in the future online or off.