From an Earlier Post Dated
Thought about digging up this forgiveness blog from the archives for the Memorial Weekend Inspiration. I also re-posted India Arie's version of "Heart of the Matter",as the Heavier Octaves "Profile Song of the Week" on our My Space page. It's usually done every Monday. So, what? I'm a little early. It's for a good cause. I've been trying to figure out a solution ,or should I say, a series of solutions for a matter that has been perplexing me for a couple of weeks now.Here's the inside story:
I ran into someone at a social function on Manhattan's Upper West Side not too long ago. By the way, I am dedicating this blog entry to him.
In preparation for attending this social gathering I had geeked myself up pretty much, was psyched and looking forward to mingling with some old friends and colleagues. Some, I would be seeing for the first time in almost a year.
In the spirit of love and enthusiasm,being happy to see this person,I neared him for a friendly embrace. He was not as warm as usual towards me.He seemed very distant and preoccupied as I hugged him. The first thought that came to mind was that he was having a bad day. However, upon deeper observation and discovery, as the evening wore on, I learned that he was carrying a deep grudge against someone that happened to also be at the gathering. We talked briefly. During the course of our limited discussion,he was not in a talkative mood,I became disappointed and ultimately disturbed, as he revealed to me the reason he was carrying it.The grudge,that is.
It was not based on any solid knowledge of what was going on, because he apparently did not really know what the other person's past and current situation was due to a lack of ongoing communication. How many times have any of us been in that same boat because we have made assumptions about someone's actions or circumstances based upon superficial observations,without exploring deeper the real facts through further interaction and discussion with them? This was likely a misunderstanding that could have been moderately cleared up with a few phone calls or short notes. It's the kind of situation where the person who is being blamed or "demonized" would say if they knew about it,"I had no idea you were going through this or that you felt that way."
It is unhealthy, not only for the person towards whom the negative vibrations from the grudge are being directed,but also, and perhaps,even moreso, for the one who is directing or harboring the ill feelings towards them.Believe me ,and I have plenty of experience over the years on both receiving and giving ends to know, that the whole process is depleting and counter productive, regardless of the end you happen to be on. Directing negative energy towards someone whether in "grudge" or "other" form depletes on both ends. If you're sending it out,you end up eventually sick and drained.If you happen to be the recipient of the "nastiness", there is a similar result.
This counter productivity is only magnified when bad feelings are based upon petty misunderstandings often resulting from poor communication. These could be worked out between both parties,if bruised egos, senseless pride,and yes,sometimes,one upsmanship, were not the basic cause of the misunderstandings in the first place. Besides contributing to the build up of "no win"situations, "bad vibes" generate harmful and wasteful energy which cause damage to the psyche, dis-ease and discomfort in the emotional,mental and physical bodies, eventually leading to illness. ...Talk about environmental pollution.
Believing strongly in all aspects of environmental improvement, while desiring to serve as a catalyst in the healing process, I will spare any more of the gory details,the "preachy" sermon, just say this and leave it:
If you know of anyone who might benefit from forgivness,the kind sung about in the song and/or discussed herein, please forward this message on to them. By the way, the scripture reference is Matthew 18:21-35. I highly recommend reading it as a supplement to this message. It contains an enlightening parable. I count it extremely relevant to the situation and person I've discussed above.
Below is the My Space blog dated January 4,2007,made reference to above, along with a related podcast on forgiveness,which I'm topping today:
The Heart of the Matter (Thursday,January 4,2007)
It's time to get down to the "Heart of the Matter"...This is currently the "Profile Song" for Heavier Octaves Radio. India Arie covers this Don Henley tune beautifully. It is a wonderful song with a thoughtful and inspiring message. It is our inspirational "Profile Song of the Week. India has indeed made it her own. Here is a link to the lyrics,if you care to go deeper with your reflection on the song.Try forgiving someone today and see the difference it will make in your life.And,listen in to our podcast which usually provides a brief meditation/reflection on the song being played.
Below is the link to the podcast I recorded on forgiveness. Please listen in.
"Heart of the Matter Podcast"
Enjoy,
Cynthia (Revcoolc)Wilson